DeadassNYC https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html We Tried Raffling a Ferrari Luce to You People Our Stock Crashed Deadass exclusive: Dr. House returns and charlie sheen is cast to play the iconic doc Carcass is Hitting MSG in 2026 and Metalheads Deadass Booked Every Dominican Salon in the Heights for a Blowout. Elon Musk Dissects Duracell Bunny in Late-Night Meltdown: “They Last Too Long, It’s Unnatural!” Privacy Policy Privacy Policy terms Anti-Ugly Luxury Shop Tourist Finds Out Gravity Is Non-Negotiable, Experts Blame ‘Negligence.’ NYC Locals Say, ‘Eh.’ Advertisement “Gus” (Rattus norvegicus domesticus) About Us Mariko ☂️ Chris” (Christopher — last name withheld by HR) “Banksy” (yes, that Banksy) “Gem” (Gemma Correll, probably) “Soto” (Mira Soto, aka “Mira La Loca”) Vinny “The Source” Deep — Editor-in-Chief Lucy Alexis Liu Yu Ling — Art Director NOT the actress Becky “Fact Checker? I Barely Know Her” Thompson — Senior Vice President of Editorial Synergy (intern) Home Six Karen O’Brien — Social Media Manager / Shitposter-in-Chief Dev “The Algorithm” Patel — Tech Lead Malú Kim — Senior Writer, NYC Desk City Hall’s Latest ‘Rookies’ Promise to Inject Life Into Your Fantasy of a Functional NYC Al Pacino Joins the Cast of the New “Love Island: NYC Edition”! Kelly Osbourne Honors Dad With Bat Hat; NYC Asks If It Comes With Exterminator Yankee Stadium Bobblehead Giveaway: Only Your Firstborn (And Sanity) Required! Yankees Find ‘Groove’ While NYC Masterfully Dodges Reality, Pigeon Feces Good News, NYC: Trevor Ariza is Officially One of Us! (Financially, Anyway) NYC Mourns Comedian Whose Rise Was ‘Slow,’ But Death? That Was Express Service. NYC Mourns Comedian Whose Career Trajectory Perfectly Mirrored Our Subway System New Shudder ‘Thriller’ Deemed ‘Mildly Annoying’ By Anyone Who’s Commuted on the L Train Post-Midnight Stars of ‘Every Year After’ Spark Major Chemistry With Our Last Remaining Affordable Bodega Sandwich NYC Residents Reveal Their Most ‘Swoon-Worthy’ Moments: Successfully Dodging Human Excrement on the Sidewalk GOP proposes bill to make ‘thoughts and prayers’ legal currency Man sells everything, buys $DOGE at peak, achieves ‘enlightenment’ through poverty Earth files for bankruptcy, cites ‘irreconcilable differences with humanity’ Truth Social adds ‘Grievance+ Subscription’ for $19.99/month — gets sued by own users Insurance CEO declines coverage for his own heart attack, cites ‘pre-existing condition’ Startup raises $50M for app that does absolutely nothing, investors say ‘disruptive’ Wall Street traders confuse stock ticker with their own heart rate, hospitalizations surge Subway rat crowned Mayor of New York in landslide write-in victory AI Chatbot quits job, opens Etsy store selling existential dread CEO Announces Layoffs, Says Employees ‘Didn’t Manifest Hard Enough’ Congress Passes Bill Requiring All News to Be Delivered by Interpretive Dance Our Team Home Ten Home Nine News